Embodiment · 3 min read
Working Consciously with the Menstrual Cycle in Therapy
So often, the menstrual cycle is something we are taught to hide, ignore or push through. Yet for women and people who menstruate, it can influence mood, energy, confidence, sensitivity, sleep, desire, relationships and boundaries.
Bringing the cycle into therapy is not about dismissing feelings as “just hormonal.” It is about taking the body seriously and becoming curious about patterns that may otherwise be overlooked.
Different phases may bring different experiences. At some points, there may be more energy, clarity or sociability. At others, grief, anger, anxiety, exhaustion or self-criticism may come closer to the surface.
These feelings are not necessarily less valid because they are cyclical. Premenstrual sensitivity may highlight swallowed resentment, crossed boundaries, unmet needs or exhaustion that has been ignored.
The cycle can therefore become a source of information, showing us where we may be over-functioning, people-pleasing, masking or pushing beyond our limits.
The inner seasons
One helpful framework is to think of the cycle as four inner seasons:
Inner winter — menstruation
A time that may bring lower energy and a need for rest, quiet and reflection.
Inner spring — the follicular phase
Energy and curiosity may increase, creating more capacity for ideas and connection.
Inner summer — ovulation
Some people feel more confident, expressive and outward-facing.
Inner autumn — the luteal phase
Sensitivity, tiredness or irritability may increase, sometimes revealing what has become difficult to ignore.
These are not fixed rules. The aim is to notice your own experience rather than force it into a particular model.
From self-criticism to curiosity
Without cycle awareness, changes in mood or energy can easily become reasons for self-attack:
Why am I suddenly so emotional?
Why can’t I cope as well as I did last week?
A more compassionate question might be:
What is changing in my body, and what support do I need today?
This could mean resting earlier, reducing demands, asking for support or responding more gently to the inner critic.
How we might work with the cycle
Tracking mood, energy, sleep, pain, anxiety, relationships and the desire for connection or solitude can help identify recurring patterns.
In therapy, this may help us:
- anticipate times of greater vulnerability
- understand shifts in emotions and attachment needs
- explore boundaries that become clearer premenstrually
- work compassionately with shame and body image
- notice how trauma symptoms interact with the cycle
- challenge expectations of constant productivity
Ultimately, this work invites a kinder relationship with the body: less control and more curiosity, less pushing through and more listening.
It can help shift the question from:
What is wrong with me?
to:
What is happening in me?
Is there a pattern?
What might my body be asking for?
Samantha Whittaker · Compassion Space
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